How to get Results in your life - The Before & After Process (part 2)

Yesterday we talked about the Before & After Process.
Today we dig into the Before part of the Process…

THE BEFORE PROCESS

THE BEFORE IS WHERE YOU ARE NOW.

It seems obvious, but I guarantee you it isn’t.

Self-awareness is the least common trait we have as humans.

We rarely take a hard look at our lives from the outside.

We are so busy living IN our lives, we rarely work ON our lives.

That is what life coaching is all about, stepping back and taking a look at our lives from the outside.

This process works best if you can pick something specific to focus on in your life.

For example:

• Your Relationship
• Your Career
• Your Weight
• Your Small Business
• Your Drinking Habits
• Your Productivity
• Your Stress/Anxiety Level

Just pick one for now. You can go through this process as many times as you want, but the more specific you can be each time, the better.

Let’s say you pick your career.

You need to define the “Before”, which is where you are starting from.

Everything I teach my clients is built around what we call the Self Coaching Model.

And the premise of this model is that everything breaks down into five categories:

Circumstances

Thoughts

Feelings

Actions

Results

You can use this structure to define your current state or your “Before”.

If you really want to work through this process, get out a piece of paper right now.

Really, stop reading and get a piece of paper & a pen.

Now, write down the answers to the following questions.

1. What are the facts about your current situation?

For the career example, this would include where you are in your job, where you work, who your boss is, and what you do.  We only include facts when we discuss circumstances.  Make no judgments or opinions when answering the first question.

2. What are your thoughts about your current situation?

Now is when you can brainstorm all of your current thinking about your situation. What are your opinions and judgments? What are you unhappy with? What don’t you like? What do you wish could change?

3. How are you feeling in this current situation, with these current thoughts?

This is where you access how you feel. Your feelings determine your level of satisfaction. Often we don’t pay enough attention to how we feel and can be just powering through something that we feel terrible about without even realizing it.

4. How do you act and behave in this situation when you feel this way?

Now, this is where it might get interesting. You want to step back and take a look at how you are showing up. If it’s your weight–how are you eating? If it’s your relationship–how do you act towards the other person? For your career–how do you show up at work?

5. What is the result of you acting and behaving this way?

For this question, be honest about how your behavior affects the situation. Take as much responsibility as you can here to see what effect you are having in the situation.

And there you have your BEFORE picture.

Once you have answered these questions truthfully, you will have a clear before photo of your situation in your mind’s eye.

Please do not just go through the motions of reading this. Actually, write down your answers to the 5 before questions.

This is the most important step.  If you don't do this the rest of this process will not be possible if you don’t have your starting point.

Even if it’s may not be enjoyable to reveal the truth of where you are starting, the next step is very fun.

Tune in tomorrow for the 3rd part of this 4 part series.

If you would like to talk about your before picture and discuss The Model, let's set up a time to chat and I will teach you how to use the Model to change the results you are getting in your life.